I have a morning routine. I've had this morning routine for at least all of the 18 or so years that Don has known me. Each morning I make coffee. One might note from earlier blogs that I feel very strongly about my morning coffee. But it's what happens while the coffee is brewing.

Assuming there aren't two little dumplings and a hound dog demanding pancakes or otherwise vying for my attention, while the coffee is brewing I empty the dishwasher. It's my thing....the dishwasher gets turned on last thing at night (by Don himself, who can't trust the delay button). So, second-thing in the morning: I like to empty the dishwasher.

On the periodic chance that Don didn't quite hit all the right buttons, if I open the dishwasher and find dirty dishes, it tends to put a crimp in my day. Call me particular, but I just like to start the day with an empty dishwasher.

So, imagine my dismay when something comes up....early morning tennis, early morning Yahtzee, early morning coffee overflow, and I don't get the chance to empty the dishwasher. In this scenario, I expect everyone to simply place their dirty dishes in the sink~ the staging area, if you will~ for when I finally get around to emptying the dishwasher.

Keeping this brief history and slight OCD tendency in mind can't we all just imagine my reaction to Don putting dirty dishes into my dishwasher that is still filled with clean dishes? Beginning with the slight twitch of my left eyelid, I'm certain my expletives can be heard within a 5-mile radius.

Here's the thing: Don has a morning routine, too.

Orange Juice. Each and every morning he has a glass of orange juice.

(At this time I won't get into how he is the only one in the family that drinks the orange juice yet how every morning he leaves the carton of orange juice on the kitchen counter in case someone else would like to enjoy a glass.)

For reasons that are completely unknown to me, Don cannot stay away from my dishwasher. He cannot simply leave his soiled juice glass in the sink. He always puts his dishes in the dishwasher. This behavior would make most housewives swoon and on most days this behavior works . But on days like today, when I spent the morning swirling crepes and melting chocolate, have packed the cooler and the pool bag, fed the dog and the chickens, I expect a sink full of dirty dishes when I get home at 2 in the afternoon. It's not until I have completely emptied the bottom shelf and am three-quarters of the way through the top shelf that I discover, not only, Don's pulp covered juice glass, upside down and drooling directly onto the now empty bottom rack, but his sticky Carnation Irish Cream coffee cup, as well. I am quite certain he won't appreciate my head-spinning, maniacal phone call imploring him to STAY AWAY FROM MY KITCHEN! I then need to look back through the stacks of silverware, plates, and bowls to find the ones that are now covered with a streak of pulp or sticky Irish Cream. Neither go well with the Beef Wellington I am planning for dinner.

I've asked the question before: How can you NOT tell that you are putting dirty dishes into a dishwasher that is filled with CLEAN dishes??? But even more disturbing: Knowing that before you went to bed, you RAN the dishwasher; is it at all humanly possible to empty a dishwasher and then fill it again, with deceptively dirty dishes, by 10 o'clock in the morning?? I maintain that as an educated and middle aged man, he should be able to figure it out.

Don thinks he should get an occasional 'Get Out of Dishwasher Faux Pas Jail' card

I say: Do NOT pass Go, my friend.