My Day as a Proctor

Note: This day actually happened back in June 2010. The content may be questionable thus it's been sitting in the hopper for a couple of months.

Today I spent 4 hours watching over a group of 8th graders as they took their End of Grade Algebra test. Here are a few of the interesting things I witnessed. (Warning: May not be suitable for young children or the faint of heart.)

Normally, it's the kindergarteners or the funky looking kids that pick their noses, but today, it was a tall, good looking swimmer who not only picked his nose, but then ate it, too. More than once, he did this. In fact, more than three times he dined on his own mucous. He was also the one who finished his test first....perhaps all the protein he injested?

I witnessed one horrified girl that thought she got her period. Without the luxury of running to the bathroom during the test, this is how she surveyed her situation: She stood up for the 2 minute break, I saw her discreetly feeling around the back of her shorts. She then inspected her hand......and smelled it.

She had my attention.

Quickly, she sat down and, less discreetly, inspected inside the legs of her shorts and again smelled her fingers.

Curious.

She stood again, looked at the seat of her chair and abruptly sat back down and crossed her legs. I thought of offering her an OB, but her shorts were black and as far as I could tell, there was no sign of period, or whatever she was smelling for.

I saw one boy trying to mask his erection by pulling down his t-shirt but for those adept at spotting a boner a mile away, he had little success.

My sister will be thrilled that I saw several girls wearing flip-flops and socks together.

I saw lots of girls who are no doubt aware of their beauty and only one in particular who has no idea she is the most stunning person in the room.

There was one boy who made me wonder if I might like to be an 8th grader again.

There was the cuticle picker, who seemed to be daydreaming the entire time, but then miraculously was the third person to finish. And, while escorting her to the bathroom (as a Proctor, that was in my job description) she conveyed that it was an easy test for her. I could have sworn she was at the wrong test.

But the most exciting part of my day was witnessing an entire classroom of young people taking an enormously long and difficult test of which I could only dream of passing, completing or comprehending.